Cozy Humorist T-Shirts

"Have you got room for a hand-knitted pullover?"

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Tunnel of Like.

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'You've had enough!'

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

Shaved Ice

Daffodil bulbs

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

Snow is falling...

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Homophone Encounter

The stone is semi-precious, so I got you two.

Dating in 2020

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

'Vacuums!'

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'