Cozy Couch Captain Gifts

R. Wickert: Born at Home, Died at Home, Home Schooled. . .

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

The Common Sutra.

Help! I've fallen in love and I can't get up! Cat alert system.

"Love me?"

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

'I don't migrate any more. The satellite dish has made the long winter nights quite bearable.'

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

'And now for the (Yawn!) morning report....'

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"There's the remote!"

Dog cradles bone, baby cradles blanket, boy cradles teddy bear and father cradles TV remote.

"Comfy?"

'Hon...Why do we have tumbleweed rolling across the living room floor?' 'That's not tumbleweed...The dog is shedding again.'

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

Dog in the Bed.

'I don't get out of bed for this kind of money.'

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"They went together, doctor!"

"Which side do you want?"

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

"Excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable..."

A slipper looks at a woman putting on her shoes

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

'I really enjoyed that, but if anyone ask, don't you dare tell them we watched it.'

"I am doing something about all the snow. I'm hoping for an early spring."

'Boy, glad i'm not out there amongst all that driving rain!'