Cozy Communicator Pillows

'We are unable to complete your call as dialed. Please remove your mittens and dial your call again.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I speak Latin, you know."

'Modern romance'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

Snow is falling...

We can do ANYTHING if we all work TOGETHER.

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

"Love me?"

Just a little heads up!

A man surrounded with lovehearts

"I see that, but can you play well with others?"

The Original Online Mom.

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

'Why do I get the feeling you're holding something back?'

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

"Ignore it. Telemarketer."

"Don't yell in the restaurant. Use your texting voice."

Dog in the Bed.

'Sam's not really a seafaring man but he can yo-ho-ho with the best of them.'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

People talking through a stethoscope.

"I'm sorry, but you're not the patient your father was."

'See, I told you I can text and chew gum at the same time.'

"Anything wrong, sweetie pie? You've been ignoring the tip jar lately."