Cowboy Role-play Enthusiast T-Shirts

'When you say I have 24 hours to get out of town, does that include the grace period?'

Spot the Baddie.

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

The Runaway Horse

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

Young Gums

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Cow duel.

"They're class action figures."

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'How can you say I'm a bad actress, Tarzan?'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

Western Outfitters.

The Not So Wild West

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

'I don't know about you, Clyde, but I'm getting a mighty uneasy feeling we could be riding straight into an ambush interview!'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'