Covid Safety Gifts

"It's part of our new workplace ventilation system." (man at desk with a large vent pipe over his head)

Please Donnybrook Responsibly.

hand sanitizer and hand santa-tizer

"When I was a lad life was DANGEROUS, I remember once getting the 145 to Walthamstow WITHOUT A MASK!"

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

The new normal

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

On the brink.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Baby on board.

Bench Press Accident

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'