Covid Guru Pillows

Social Distancing

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

The Cougher

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

Bribes for Jabs

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Strainspotting

Coronavirus Waves

Coronavirus Sisyphys

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

National Academy of Sport

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

Congratulations on the new you!

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

'I gotta lose some weight.'

Keep Fit.

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'