Cover Art Enthusiast T-Shirts

"The cover has to be such that customers can't judge the content of the book by it."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"I'm just checking in from an alternate timeline to see how things are going."

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

"And now, with apologies to Cole Porter."

"Who let the dining-room set into the liquor cabinet again?"

Sigmund Freud

The Jumping Tank

Author meets covergirl, "surely you remember me- paperback edition of your book"

"I prefer the Perry Como version."

Cutting corners can cost money.

Angry pirate looking at angry parrot (wearing diaper) on his shoulder.

"You're tattooed all over although you're not a football pro?! Man, that's cultural appropriation!"

'Take um powders three times um day...you'll soon be back in um swing of things, Tarzan!'

Mafia machine gun case.

'You really do need new glasses!'

'Can't you come up with something more elegant than 'Dave's Homemade Booze'?'

"You want art, words, or a QR code?"

"You need to take a break from watching too many tennis matches."

In the off season I do temp work.

If Only Magazine: The Pot Belly Is In!

"Give the little bastards what they want!"

'We needed to take the guess work out of choosing our new site.'

Little Women in Love in the Time of Cholera

'Well, I don't consider it a tattoo. I consider it a monogram.'

The Dentists By Munch

"Nice work, who did it?"

It's a very popular pub. If you ring home you can say you're at the office.

'That's a turn up for the book.'

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Invisible Man for All Seasons

Taboo Parlor Tattoo Parlor

Would you have this in yellow?