Cousins Gifts

Non-Denominational Carols

I'll trade you a gluten-Free Sandwich for lactose-free milk.

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"My family likes to set up our grudges at Thanksgiving, stew over them through December, then take our revenge at Christmas."

"This family seems to multiply every year."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

Food & Family

'I now pronunce you husband and wife.'

Inactivity Centre

'You play the nurse and I'll play God.'

"Where there's a will...there are relatives!"

'What are your parents going to say man?!'

'And here's one of us 20 seconds ago!'

Musical Chairs: Because kids don't already have a hard time fitting in.

'We're starting a car pool. Want to join?'

'One of the first rules, kids, be sure to watch where you step.'

Just your average family holiday portrait.

A baby meets his new freaky family. Please don't be looking at me...

Graph Your Relatives!

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

'Remember, it's not just gimme. It's please gimme.'

"Please tell me I look NOTHING like THAT guy!"

Fairy Library - Hop o' my Thumb Title Page

Pregnancy

The Human Comedy - Reading the Last Will

'Say, something sure smells good around here.'

Flying the kite in strong winds

'Okay, kids, we're finally here.'

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'Well I think everything is in order. Congratulations on your new home!'

"I brought chips and cookies to snack on and baby carrots to sit unopened on the blanket."

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

'Hold up everyone. I read that last part wrong. She wants you to divide the 'cash' equally.'

'Look who came back for the family reunion.'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'