Courtroom King Gifts

Everyone smile and say FEES

"My Boy, ignorance of the law is no excuse for the losing Barrister not to collect his fee?"

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

'Yes, I have some time but it's on retainer to a very big corporate client.'

'He has too much money and no common sense... he's a lawyers dream.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

I love Lawyers

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Bailiff."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Basketball

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

Justice 4 Ron

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."