Courting Gifts

An Irish Model.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Romantic Giraffes

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Bailiff."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

Did you ever get that feeling in the moonlight?

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"I love fast break business success."

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

"If music is the food of love... I'm full."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."