Court Watcher Pillows

Upcoming Federal Case? Try the: Supreme Court Gift Guide

"I get the feeling she's keeping an eye on us."

"Oh, Joy of joys! We are but three steps away from our conservative supreme court."

Trial by Media

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Now that's a win."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"#notguilty."

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Before the riots/after the riots

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in what sense?'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'I can hardly wait for someone to invent paper.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Why is it always about me?'

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Repeat after me..."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."