Courtroom Observer Pillows

"Overruled."

"My client pleads guilty your honor but..."

'Let's show a little mercy here - after all the criminal element is good for our economy.'

Innocent / Guilty

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Now that's a win."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in what sense?'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'I can hardly wait for someone to invent paper.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Why is it always about me?'

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Repeat after me..."

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'With my degree in law and in physics, I hope to create resonable doubt.'

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

Disorder in the Court!

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'