Trial Watching Pillows

'If you have nothing to hide, why are you hiding?'

"Wait! I know the answer!"

"My client asks that another 8,639 micro-aggressions be taken into consideration."

"I had advised my client not to take the stand, but he's worked up such a great impression of the judge."

'... And you'll be pleased to learn that my fees are reassuringly expensive.'

'Have you reached a verdict?' 'Is there a, 'Hanging's too good for him option?''

'It's your perogative but I think you would be crazy to plead insanity.'

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

Trial by Media

"You can't plead cute."

"#notguilty."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

Counsel's Opinion.

"Overruled."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

"Let's take in a trial."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"Oh, Joy of joys! We are but three steps away from our conservative supreme court."

"Can you identify the person who assaulted you and then stole your title?"

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

Closing arguments.

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'