Court Warrior Pillows

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

Hate Platforms

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

The real murderer of Boris Nemtsov?

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'How about a game of cards?'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Planet of the Lawyers

"I say we move on to dessert."

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

Basketball.

Human Rights for All

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

Old administration and torture.

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'