Couple Routines Gifts

'Am I getting up or going to bed?'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Sauvignon Bonk

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

Cat Towels

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Difference of Opinion

Mixed Doubles.

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."