Country Western Singer Pillows

'I've got those, 'No money left for whisky and women because my cattle futures options expired out of the money' blues...'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

Bashful in Nashville

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Elvis Presley

"I'm putting you on country music."

'I'll never forget the night I saw you across the crowded room of a dusty ol' honky tonk.'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

Even cowgirls get the blues. 'Well, howdy! I've been lookin' for this here B.B. King album forever!'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"..Not cloudy all day."

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

Supply was out of harps.

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Congerto Number One, first movement."

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

Where the deer and the antelope play.

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

Ray Price, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard

'You would think that our agent could make better travel arrangements for us than this.'

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'

Cowpunk

Music from the moon.

Here's a little number I wrote from bitter personal experience...