Country Music Royalty Gifts

'On this stage tonight, The First Lady, The Princess, The Empress, The Maharani and The Mother Superior of country music!'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

Bashful in Nashville

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

Elvis Presley

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Cockerel sings the blues...

"I'm putting you on country music."

Towny Music Night.

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

'I'll never forget the night I saw you across the crowded room of a dusty ol' honky tonk.'

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

"It's bad, Doc. the voices in my head are singing country western."

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

Supply was out of harps.

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Congerto Number One, first movement."

'The grass is always bluer to a banjo pickin bovine!'

Where the deer and the antelope play.

Down On the Farm

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

Here's a little number I wrote from bitter personal experience...

Cowpunk

Music from the moon.

The Invention of Country Music.

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."