Country Caller Prints

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

Bashful in Nashville

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

Yoghurt man

Your Country Needs MOO!

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

Life is simpler in the sticks.

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

"How nice of you to call me out of the blue, young man. It so happens I have forty-five million just sitting in my piggy bank, and maybe having a broker wouldn't be such a bad idea."

Music from the moon.

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

Rhinestone Accountant

Dolly Parton

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

Jesus Seals the Hick...

'One more yippeee-ki-yi from Roy Rogers back there,and i'm putting a hoof through that guitar.'

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

'It's for you.'

The New Modern-Day Lament.

Banjo Player

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."