Country Tune Crooner Prints

Music from the moon.

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bashful in Nashville

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Elvis Presley

"I'm putting you on country music."

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

'I'll never forget the night I saw you across the crowded room of a dusty ol' honky tonk.'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

Supply was out of harps.

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Congerto Number One, first movement."

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'The grass is always bluer to a banjo pickin bovine!'

Where the deer and the antelope play.

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

'Oh, shut up!'

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."

Ray Price, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'

Here's a little number I wrote from bitter personal experience...

Cowpunk

Flat Cap and whippet