Phone Caller Prints

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

"Mom! You and dad won't believe this, but right now I'm watching two flies making out on top of a can of soda!!" Dan was really lonely.

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'I'd love you to come round, Samantha - but I'm sipping my cocoa all ready for sleepy bo-bos.'

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

...the onion rings

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'It's for you.'

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Bingo Addicts...

'There is someone on the phone for you.'

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

Collar I.D.

'IRS Help Hot Line. While you're on hold for the next 23 hours, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

We're sorry, all lines are currently busy. Please continue holding for the next available recorded message.

"I'm sorry, he's not here right now, but I could get one of his socks for you."