Country Bumpkin Gifts

Country Bumpkin.

Country life

'Life is great' down on the farm.

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

Farmer and FIsherman

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"Relax. They're just crows."

About time!

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

An English Gold Field

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

The Near Outback: Lenny and Samantha

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

New Planning Body in beauty spot - 'Nice spot for our HQ...'

'The one that really gets them is a quick jab from the floor, straight back and out.'

'A couple of trees, a few shrubs...it started just like any other atrium.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

Yoghurt man

This is probably the only time that Clem's name and the title 'Ph.D' will be used in the same sentence.

'I'd kill for concrete.'

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

The Rudges' peaceful home

"Geese today just don't seem to take pride in their appearance."

"Sorry for the racket, but, I ask you, how are ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen 6-B?"

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."