Counseling Adventurer Gifts

Marriage Counselors Without Borders

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

Man propelled by love

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"What's your occupation?"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"Show off."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Dr. Stolner says it might be nice if I let you see my dark side."

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

Now hiring.

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'