Couches T-Shirts

'She'll never look for me here.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Unconditional Loveseat

Binge Watch

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"The emotional support goes both ways."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

'Let's have a quiet romantic evening together...we'll turn our cell phones off.'

A couple with a new baby

"When we were dating it was all wine, soft lights, and candy. So nothing's changed really."

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

Eventual Motion Machine

Exercise vs Laxative.

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."