Cozy Couches T-Shirts

'I don't migrate any more. The satellite dish has made the long winter nights quite bearable.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'She'll never look for me here.'

Unconditional Loveseat

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"There's the remote!"

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

"Comfy?"

'I'm afraid to ask.'

"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."

'The Degeneration Game'

"I know it looks like he’s doing nothing, but he’s very busy in his head."

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"This love seat stinks!"

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"This, 'being a housewife' lark, isn't so hard."

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"

A slipper looks at a woman putting on her shoes

"He used to want to take over the world."

'He played every minute of three football matches on TV today.'