Cozy Couches T-Shirts

'I don't migrate any more. The satellite dish has made the long winter nights quite bearable.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'She'll never look for me here.'

Unconditional Loveseat

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

The Common Sutra.

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

Help! I've fallen in love and I can't get up! Cat alert system.

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

"There's the remote!"

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

'I'm afraid to ask.'

'Hon...Why do we have tumbleweed rolling across the living room floor?' 'That's not tumbleweed...The dog is shedding again.'

Dog cradles bone, baby cradles blanket, boy cradles teddy bear and father cradles TV remote.

"Comfy?"

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."

'The Degeneration Game'

"This, 'being a housewife' lark, isn't so hard."

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"This love seat stinks!"

"I know it looks like he’s doing nothing, but he’s very busy in his head."

Whoa. I just had a near-life experience.

A slipper looks at a woman putting on her shoes

"He used to want to take over the world."