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'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

TV-Man

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

"Have we scored yet?"

'You went to obedience school and you're still not allowed on the couch? What a gyp.'

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

You've grazed the refrigerator, surfed the net, flipped the channels...for someone who doesn't move much, you sure do get around.