Couch Protectors Pillows

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

Eventual Motion Machine

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'You''ll just have to accept the fact that they're more concerned with their furniture than with you.'

"Anywhere with cable T.V. will be fine."

'I'm afraid to ask.'

"Don't push her off! Can't you see she's exhausted?"

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

Who am I kidding?

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

Couch on stilts so cats can't scratch it

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"