Couch Potty Gifts

'The Surgeon-General today advised everybody to turn the TV off and go take a walk.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Love is when you watch television together.

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'Och lye the news'

"You are still here."

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'I don't do so much of the you-can't catch-me-I'm-the -gingerbread-man material these days...'

Tunnel of TV

Succession 2