Couch Potato Philosopher Gifts

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Who's winning the football game?...Sportsmanship or violence?"

Redecoration therapy.

"Ok, ok, exercise tomorrow."

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

'He does lack social skills.'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'She'll never look for me here.'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

Happy Brithday

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

Campaign 2016

It's hammerhead time

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

"There's the remote!"

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

Easy Listening for lazy people.

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

"You know, dear, planting your base in a chair and eating chicken is not 'plant-based' eating."

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

Success Without Effort

"If you really loved me, you'd give me the remote."

'I swear Marge! If that little punk comes back in here and pushes all them buttons again, i'm gonna kill him!' - Life in the elevator.