Couch Potato Philosopher Pillows

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"Who's winning the football game?...Sportsmanship or violence?"

Redecoration therapy.

"If mass equals energy, why do you have so little?"

"Ok, ok, exercise tomorrow."

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"Netflix not loading is not a humanitarian crisis."

'He does lack social skills.'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

Happy Brithday

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

It's hammerhead time

Campaign 2016

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"You know, dear, planting your base in a chair and eating chicken is not 'plant-based' eating."

Easy Listening for lazy people.

"There's the remote!"

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'