Couch Potato Intellectual Gifts

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'She'll never look for me here.'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

Happy Brithday

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"You know, dear, planting your base in a chair and eating chicken is not 'plant-based' eating."

Easy Listening for lazy people.

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

"There's the remote!"

"If mass equals energy, why do you have so little?"

The inevitability of animal husbandry.

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

'Inactive wear'

Yawn

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

Success Without Effort

"If you really loved me, you'd give me the remote."

"No, Fred didn't run a TV marathon - He watched a marathon on TV."

'I swear Marge! If that little punk comes back in here and pushes all them buttons again, i'm gonna kill him!' - Life in the elevator.