Couch Potato Deity Gifts

"Trapped in the tv..."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'He does lack social skills.'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Love is when you watch television together.

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'Och lye the news'

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

"You are still here."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

Succession 2

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

'I don't do so much of the you-can't catch-me-I'm-the -gingerbread-man material these days...'

Tunnel of TV