Cotillion Gifts

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

The Fourth Little Pig

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

Welcome Spring.

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

Bears catching fish

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'Super Dog'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'What clan do you belong to?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'