Cotillion T-Shirts

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

The Fourth Little Pig

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Welcome Spring.

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

Bears catching fish

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'Super Dog'

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'What clan do you belong to?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'Oh Hi!'