Cost-conscious Critic Gifts

'Now I'll show you what turns a $6,000 operation into a $17,000 operation.'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

Evolution of Man

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

Moanathon.

A man sprays a bug in an organic foods shop.

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

Bulltoon: Insatiabull.

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

"And, in our continuing effort to minimize surgical costs, I'll be hitting you over the head and tearing you open with my bare hands."

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

January Sales

The Slips of Capitalism

'At $12 a glass, I want it to spit out what it drank.'

Monsanto

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

'So far my grandfather's funeral has cost me £6000!... We buried him in a rented suit!'

"The government wants an international economy... Bosses on N.Y. salaries and everyone else on Mumbai wages."

Tattoos! $50 and Tattoos Removed! $10,000.

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

"Expensive? Yes, but I don't exploit my mother."