Cosmos Observer Gifts

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"Siri, find oxygen."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Maitre d' to astronaut couple entering restaurant: 'Gravity or no-gravity?'

"I've either discovered dark matter, or I've left the lens cap on."

'Johannes Kepler's uphill batle'

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

Astronaut Selfie.

'Where did you leave the ship?'

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

Crisis.

"This guy has the entire universe and still has to tailgate me!"

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

"I'll believe in global warming when I see it!"

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

The Big Drip Theory of the Universe

"He says he's been trying to get through for ages, but the line's always busy."

'I've had a report of a peeping tom.'

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

Just before The Big Bang

'Asteroid, asteroid!' ... 'Fore!'

Voyeurs guide to the Cosmos (stars in the shape of a sexy woman).

"Hurry children, space is limited!"

Your karma will catch up with you!

Space junk.