Cosmic Skeptics Pillows

"On second thoughts... it might be better if you paid in advance."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Alternative Medicine

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

Crystal Ball Plug

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"I totally meant to do that."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.