Cosmic Catastrophe Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Breaking news!" "The Hubble Telescope has just detected a rogue planet the size of Venus, plummeting through the asteroid belt. Its gravity is pulling Ceres and several dozen mountain-sized asteroids along with it." "NASA believes their combined gravity will be enough to pull Mars and the Moon along with them as they scream past Earth and plummet into the sun." "There will only be one place on Earth that won't be utterly devastated by gravimetric forces." "Find out where that is later in this b

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

65 Million Years Ago

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

"It could never work between us."

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Moon and Star

Astronaut

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

'Do you have to yell 'far out!' every time you see something new?'

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

"Damn. Totally mis-read that."

"Oh boy, what a treat! Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we get a full view of the Supermoon."

God Plays Baseball with the Earth

"I hear post apocalyptic trilogies are all the rage again."

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

"Stocks closed higher on news the U.S. budget deficit and the universe are expanding, so go with the flow."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

The End is Near art gallery opening.

doom.com

"In the late Cretaceous" "What do you mean, you're here for all of us at once?"

"It's going to get us for sure. Buying that meteorite insurance was a stroke of genius."

The Future

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

New York Gondolier

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

Les Bons Bourgeois - Looking in vain for the planet Leverrier

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

'Come back in a couple of days. Maybe something will have opened up.'