Cosmic Cartographer T-Shirts

"How can you claim to offer directions if you don't know the best way to Epsilon Delta VII?"

"You are here"

He must be creating parallel universes.

"Ever since they declared him a dwarf planet, Pluto has been, well -- GRUMPY."

'C'mon get it straight.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Alien David statue

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

The Lost World: You are Here

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

The Big Tipper

Leaving a Real Impression: That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.

New York Netherworld

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

'I'd steer clear of the rum punch.'

"If I figure correctly, it's two o'clock, Mountain Time."

Can I have a look at the map?

Tiny air ship flying over globe.

"I don't know what in blazes it means either, but just to be safe we'll put extra men on watch tonight."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

'This is you, enlarged.'

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."