Cosmic Calamity Buffs Gifts

"I can't believe I ate all that salad for nothing."

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Apocalypse Research Center

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Geekasaurus.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

Stephen Hawking

"It's going to get us for sure. Buying that meteorite insurance was a stroke of genius."

"Ahoy!"

"In the late Cretaceous" "What do you mean, you're here for all of us at once?"

'Lightening hit the band shell while the orchestra was playing...'

Spaceman with a vacuum cleaner in space

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"

'The End is Near' and 'There's No End In Sight.'

"Wow, I did not see that coming."

Cat scratching chair. Chair falls on cat.

'That's the Director of Housing. She isn't taking the news of the rates freeze too well...'

Crescent moon...left - handed crescent moon

'I see you caught the fish, but the boat got away.'

A survivor from the Titanic standing on an iceberg

'Heretic!'

'...Man, I'll be glad when this inning is over.'

"I can't say I'm all that surprised. . ."

'Heck, I'm prepared for anything!'

-

"No, not today. Something's come up."

'The Turin Cow'.

Extreme weather hits America.

"Breaking news!" "The Hubble Telescope has just detected a rogue planet the size of Venus, plummeting through the asteroid belt. Its gravity is pulling Ceres and several dozen mountain-sized asteroids along with it." "NASA believes their combined gravity will be enough to pull Mars and the Moon along with them as they scream past Earth and plummet into the sun." "There will only be one place on Earth that won't be utterly devastated by gravimetric forces." "Find out where that is later in this b

Yes, the astrophysicists are right: You ARE made of stardust. But you still have to wait for the green light, just like the rest of us.

"Stop being selfish. There's no 'I' in the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse."

'I can't stop, it's a stimulus package.'

"Yippee! I'm right!"