Cosmetologist Gifts

'Have you considered Botox?'

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

'I'm just checking this deoderant wasn't tested on anyone I know...'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"What can I tell you.. Maybe she has a beter surgeon than you.."

'I need a good concealer. I've got a lot of emotional leakage.'

"Honey, let's lay off the Botox for a while, shall we?"

"She's all plastic."

A pod of bleached whales,

Botox pump outside a cosmetology clinic.

"You're wearing a lab coat under false pretenses."

"Botox."

Gladstone undergoing beautifying process

'That new concealer works great!'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Have you no common scents?!'

"Okay so maybe I had a little work done..."

'Why is it women spend hours plucking their eyebrows...then spend hours penciling them back in again!'

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Blend Schools

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

"I hardly recognized you without makeup."

'And it wasn't until my last semester in cosmotology that I realized it had nothing at all to do with space travel.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Furley hair transplant clinic - Christmas tree needles falling out in clinics window.

'This anti-ageing cream is well past it's sell-by date!'

Our Products Are Not Tested On Real Animals

Advertising: 'My hair is full of adjectives!' (non-drying, dazzle,gloss,colour,spring,shine,strenght,bounce,moisture).

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

Bikini Wax and cellulite

What price beauty?

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

"This is my version of 'The Age of Innocence.'"

"It still looks just a little too much like - I don't know - me."