Corrections Officer Gifts

'Thanks, that looks delicious, charge it to my room, would you?'

'You see? One door closes, and another opens up!'

Crime rates drop 40% after prison uniforms are changed to neon pink floral patterns.

'Hey, how about that! You're in corrections and I'm on parole!'

'Hey. You're back.'

Dirty Job Christmas

'This won't take long. I have to go to a 'sensitivity training seminar' in an hour.'

"I was being tried as an adult so they had to let me order a drink."

'I'm sorry, but I make it a rule not to date anyone I work with.'

Madoff and devil.

'I tried to turn my life around, and apparently I made an illegal U-turn.'

"So....been here long?"

Spiked prison bunk.

'I've developed a variation of Linkedin. It's Lockedup.'

Department of corrections has statue of white out correctional fluid in front of building.

'When you get a moment do you think you could give my toe-nails a trim?'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

The Warden's Room

"I'm in for killing a guy for snoring."

Looks like Bob got community service.

State Penitentiary. It's ironic, but I don't get any bars here.

Prison Exit. "Paying your debt to society" is just an expression. You don't actually get a receipt.

Yeah, we both got seven years, but I'm a dog. I'm out in one.

"I love our comfortable silences."

Before you're released, would you mind filling out this feedback survey, so we may better serve you next time?

Wow, so you guys were in cahoots the whole time, huh?

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

Prison Beatings

It's All Uphill from Here

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

The privatization of the penal system

"You look familiar. Jail?"

"He's been!"