Correctional Counselor Gifts

'I reckon you're my long lost twin brother!'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Licensed Therapist

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

America, are we learning anything?

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'