Corporate Pillows

'Let's begin our meeting. . . everybody talk, nobody listen.'

'Don't let it throw you - It's just a negotiating tactic.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

'Watch your step, Bob. It looks like the company's trying to cut payroll expenses again.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'Speaking for myself and every other right-thinking person...'

"We're ready to begin the next phase of keeping things exactly the way they are."

"Turns out the training budget has been cut, so we'll continue doing things the stupid way for another year."

'Okay, let's take a vote. All those opposed to my ideas raise their hands and say I resign.'

'When are you going to show some INITIATIVE, Findley?', 'When you TELL me to, sir!'

"No need to rush. Take all weekend if you must."

'One day son, all this will be the receivers'.'

'I can never remember, do you make ball bearings or pork pies?'

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom. And ditto for Thanksgiving and Christmas."

'Our profit dropped because half of our salesmen are in 'How to increase the profit' - training, sir.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

The Advantages of a Solo Meeting: 'The proposal passed by unanimous consent.'

M. Peabody, V.P. Mind officially closed since 1975.

"...You correct me if I'm wrong only when I say 'correct me if I'm wrong'!"

"We won't be mailing out our quarterly report. Our profits were obscene and postal regulations prohibit mailing obscene material."

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

"I crunched the numbers until cautiously opportunistic."

'Fortunately, ideas like these don't come along everyday.'

'My decision is maybe and that's final.'

"Hmm, what would Satan do?"

Boring meeting

'Folks, we're just not doing this right.'

"After months of analysis, all departments have concluded when you're hot, you're hot, when you're not, you're not."

'Get me everything on why I'm not to blame...'

'I was wondering, Mr. Hartwelder, if I could be paid in money rather than stock options?'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'