Corporate Business Pillows

Amalgam incorporated.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'