Corporate Saga Enthusiast Gifts

Arthur Andersen & Co found guilty of shredding important files during Enron investigation.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

The MBA Draft

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"At this office no two days are different."

"We have an acronym!"

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

Parade of Businessmen

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Water company bonus.

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"I think you might need to start again."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

Pillaging, formerly Acquisitions Department

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'