Corporate Reality Checkers Gifts

'Our corporate culture is simple. We hire energetic young folks like you, then exploit them with low wages, long hours and mind-numbing projects until there's nothing left but dried-up shells of existential regret.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

"I believe you were complaining about your cold this morning."

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

'Perhaps you've been 'lovin it' a bit too much?'

"Accounts say that we can't afford to buy staff loyalty but we might be able to rent it."

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

'The more successful I become, the less money I make.'

"It looked better when I saw it on Instagram."

"Stop fact checking my story."

The back of the Taj Mahal.

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

"We need to reduce our overheads."

"Everybody says this is an awesome company to work for once you get through the probationary period!"