Corporate Raider Gifts

'Consider this an unfriendly takeover, if you wish, but takeover it is!'

'Laser pointers are for wimps. Use a pitchfork.'

"When you think about it, we stocks and bonds salesmen seem to have some things in common with Somali pirates."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

Office slaves.

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

National Boss Monument.

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'Dog eat dog.'

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."