Corporate Rebel Gifts

'There's talk of innovation out here. Winds of change are headed your way. Lock your door, pull the shades and hide under your desk.'

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

Management Speak - reading between the lines: "This new role would involve some extra responsibilities." "He wants me too work twice as hard."

'If you bothered to check the text messages on your mobile you'd find that I fired you over a month ago !'

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

"This is Josh, our summer intern."

'What I like most about the new boss is that you always know EXACTLY where you stand with him!'

"I've worked for the company for 40 years..."

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

'You're a good worker Steve but I just don't think you're fitting in here.'

"Without mentioning any names, certain questionable liberties have been taken with our dress code."

"NAY!!"

Acme towel company: "You're taking too long on your rest breaks."

'To Err is human...but to forgive is against company policy!'

"We always encourage freethinking, as long as it stays within established boundaries."

'Does that mean you found a new job, Hirshenson?'

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

"Yes, we've not told you before about bringing your cat to work... we thought it was just a plush toy!"

"I've got to be me."

"This might work, but management will never approve it..."

'So what do we have here?' - dart board says, Take the Day Off, Ignore the Loser,Do What the Goof Says, and Act Interested.

"I wish you had come to me with your grievances before burning the company flag."

49% L.L. Bean / 49% I.B.M. / 2% whimsy

Hippy getting the sack.

"Couldn't stand working for the man, so I started my own business. Now I just can't stand working."

'Never be a yes man...when the boss says 'no' you say 'no' too.'

'I said my first no today...'

Thank you, but at my age, I'm more interested in a management get-out.

Someone trying to secretly put a suggestion in the suggestions box.

"Anything that suggests corporate banking."

Dare to be Different

"I wonder if we will ever quell Johnson's maverick spirit?"

'YESTERDAY was tie down, sleeves up...today is tie up, sleeves down!'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."