Office Rebel Gifts

"It's a poor heart that never rejoices!"

'But you have to admit management's commitment to quality is working.'

'OK, listen up, everybody. Robinson has a plan for breaking out of here that I think may just work.'

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

'Your attention to ergonomics is getting out of hand.'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'Why don't we wear business suits and call ourselves marketing executives? We could make a lot more money.'

'What I mainly want to get out of this meeting is myself.'

Sign reads: Don't think! Just work. I'll do the thinking!

Hierarchy

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

"OK, Mr. Johnson, after you take the computer out of the office toilet where you threw it, try rebooting..."

'I started freelancing because I didn't like working for other people. Of course, they didn't like me working for them either.'

'No, I'm not familiar with the dress code ... but I'm pretty darn sure that jammies aren't on it.'

'But my BIG mistake was when I asked my boss for the freedom to follow my ideas wherever they led!'

It might be best all round Privitt if you took a month off.'

With absolutely no warning, Phil crossed the fine line separating business from pleasure and was never heard from again.

"There are no leaders here. We're all followers."

'Julie? Please tell the boss I can't come in today. I'm receiving emergency treatment for a skin condition.'

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

'By gosh, you're right. It is a conflict of interest to be both your CEO and a bon vivant.'

'Sorry, you failed the aptitude test.' -'Thankfully I own the company.'

'I woke up today and decided to upgrade my image.'

Protest at a sign company.

'Try thinking outside the cubicle.'

'You can do whatever you want here... as long as I don't find out about it.'

"They're going to clean up all the graffiti in the men's room tomorrow. Want to get in one last obscenity."

'And I see that Derek continues to ignore our company's dress code...'

Torture in the office.

'If I'd known it was this easy, I'd have hit the escape key long ago.'

' I'm going out to pick up street cred- you want anything...? '

'Gosh, who'd have guessed that when I said I'd have my people call your people, they'd come up with something like THIS?'

"Clearly everybody thinks this guy's the biggest freak in the office."

"I got the job! Let's celebrate - but not too much. I have to wear this ankle bracelet until I pass the three-month probation."

Do not think outside the box!