Office Revolutionist Gifts

The free and sovereign republic of the ninth floor.

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Do Not Resuscitate

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

"I think he's overreacting a little when it comes to controlling his employees."

"Must be another paradigm shift."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

Do not think outside the box!

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

'Sorry, you failed the aptitude test.' -'Thankfully I own the company.'

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'There always seems to be ONE trouble-maker in the company who gets a sick thrill from rebelling against our corporate culture!'

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

'Welcome to the office. . . Someone will be along to remove your self esteem and install your paranoia.'

'They traded their 'Casual Fridays' for 'Immature Mondays' . '

'And I see that Derek continues to ignore our company's dress code...'

Artificial Intelligence

'We've got trouble, Henderson - Your people got with my people and decided they didn't need us.'

I stamped out smiley faces in your handwritten memos, and by George, I'll do the same with emoticons in your emails!

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

"If I could quit tomorrow, I'd be gone yesterday."

"Yeah? Well, tell him that in this company Gandhi-like resistance wouldn't have worked for Gandhi, either."

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'You're right...that robot certainly has increased productivity around here!'